Listen – Haiku

You knew I’d return

to hear your gorgeous whispers

toes deep in the sand

© LScott 2012

Photo: Google.com

 

About these ads

49 thoughts on “Listen – Haiku

  1. So many of earth’s elements, like the tides, whisper to us. I really like imagining, with you, that the more we dig our bare toes into the sands of time, the more we will hear of Creation! Wonderful, wonderful post, Lauren!

  2. hi,

    it’s steven, from haijinamin.com

    i have been reading your haiku. usually i am not a fan of haiku in 5-7-5 form because it is too wordy, and does not follow Japanese tradition. but, you do make it work.

    the next time i update my links section on my page, i will be adding your page.

    haiku, in english, shoul follow the short-long-short format. not a syllable count. in the Japanese language they don’t have syllables. what they do have are sound units.

    an example would be the word HAIKU. in english it is two syllables. HAI-KU. in japanese, it would be THREE sound units: HA-I-KU.

    so, in japanese, the 5-7-5 sound unit pattern does not translate well to english syllables. does that make sense?

    your haiku work. there are no extra, or un-needed words. the only thing i would suggest are devices that act as japanese cutting words. if you want to know about that, let me know.

    i really enjoy you page!

    pax et bonum,

    steven

    • Hi Steven,

      Thanks for your haiku information! I have done some research and read about the 5-7-5 syllables, but haven’t seen anything about the sound units, so thank you! I’ll give this some thought~I’m glad you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read and hope you’ll return again!
      Lauren

    • Thanks so much, Scott, and I’m glad you found a deeper meaning in this…the beach is very romantic and my hubby and I were able to get away last fall. ironically, our reservations fell right at the time we rec’d the bad news. Our kids told us to go anyway, as we needed some time alone and we ended up having a great time. I think they needed some time to process, too, without the parents around…anyway… :)

Would you like to share your thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s